But the epic world events in Iraq have clearly distracted the public from Hootie’s little skirmish in Augusta, Ga., and spared the Masters chairman any further mortification before he, today, turned center stage at the tournament over to Tiger Woods and friends.
Make no mistake about it. Hootie took an old-fashioned butt-kicking from Martha Burk, head of the National Council of Women’s Organizations. He lost in the very first round, firing off a verbal riposte that was the golfing equivalent of a triple bogey. It was hard to fathom why he went public with his response to Burk, who had sought–in a somewhat provocative letter–the admission of the first female member at the Augusta club, site of golf’s most sanctified championship. But if Burk was provocative, Johnson was downright incendiary, escalating the dispute by invoking the special language of men, that being warfare. No country club of his, Johnson said in metaphoric overkill, would have its membership policies dictated “at the point of a bayonet.”
Of course, the last thing Ms. Burk needed was a bayonet. With every utterance, Johnson was enduring a self-administered death of a thousand cuts. He foolishly defended the club’s no-women membership policy as if it was no different from his decision to lengthen the golf course before last year’s tournament. One puzzled why, if staying stag was such a moral imperative, Johnson quickly canceled all the contracts with CBS sponsors to spare them collateral damage. The coup de grace came when the Ku Klux Klan chimed in on Augusta’s side. Politics may make for very strange bedfellows. But the image of KKK bedsheet white intermingled in any fashion with Masters green must have truly horrified Hootie, who has quietly championed racial progress in his home state of South Carolina.
But now war, real and horrifying and, at this moment, triumphant, has deflected attention away from the faux battlefield of Augusta. Burk, who had demonstrated an impeccable public-relations sense heretofore, hasn’t proved quite smart enough to declare victory, cancel her protest and go home. It is not my purpose to minimize any gender issue. But right now there are too many other issues of transcendent importance to both genders. A woman’s right to a club membership at Augusta has symbolic overtones. But any protest activity now could result in the whole thing being viewed as much ado about nothing more than which rich, socially connected white gal will eventually get tapped for the dubious honor.
Hootie made such a botch of the defense that it’s easy for Burk to lose sight of how little most people care about this issue in the first place. And she has now begun to flail about, like a 20-handicapper on a championship course. Burk first suggested that it was a disgrace that women risk their lives defending the country but can’t get into the club. That was a bit of absurd posturing, as if a woman member at Augusta was likely to come from the miltary’s fighting ranks. (Note to Hootie: a membership for Private Lynch might not be a bad idea.)
Then last week, after Johnson reversed another Masters public-relations fiasco rendered on his watch–by scrapping an age restriction on former champions–Burk opined that he was trying to shut them up lest they speak out on her side of the issue. She has obviously not spent much time in PGA locker rooms because Johnson is a flaming liberal compared to most of the golf pros, young or old. About the only complaint likely to be aired by a PGA pro at any golf tournament concerns the rigors of the rough or the fairness of the pin positions.
At least Tiger, who could command a bully pulpit if he so wished, went public, supporting the principle, if not exactly embracing Burk’s cause. That earned the three-time Masters champ a mild rebuke from the ever-clueless Johnson: “I won’ tell Tiger how to play golf if he doesn’t tell us how run a private club.” He needn’t worry. Tiger subscribes to the Michael Jordan school of civic responsibility; one never utters a righteous sentiment that might offend corporate sensibilities.
So best to go home now, Martha. Scrap the planned protest on Saturday and spare us the sight of the “I Love Hootie” yahoos that will try to shout you down. You won this one on the first hole. Don’t feel compelled to play the full 18. To the victor go the spoils, so don’t spoil the victory. Augusta will have a woman member soon enough; Johnson will, in all likelihood, be presenting his final green jacket. And all golf fans, regardless of their politics, will be grateful that you actually induced the rarest of TV treats: a commercial-free major sporting event.
